September 2008
Your money is yours to spend.
To some people, money is nothing. To others, it’s everything. No matter where you fall on that spectrum, how you spend your money in up to you. You have the last word on your wallet.
Today remind yourself: My money is mine to spend.
You lend an ear.
You’re so considerate! You’ll sit there smiling and nodding for 45 minutes while a friend chatters on about who the fuck knows what. You listen because it’s the kind thing to do. They need to express their thoughts aloud and you’re an excellent sounding board. Today let’s thank the people who listen to us and celebrate our own ability to lend an ear.
Today remind yourself: I lend an ear.
You're not in too deep.
Have you seen the movie Meet the Parents? It’s a total cringe-fest because the main guy just keeps getting himself into deeper and deeper trouble. If he’d only admit that he dislikes cats and wants to get married he could stop all the chaos. Like Gaylord Focker, you need not despair. When you’re ready to come clean, you can. With a little assistance, honesty, and humility...
You pay attention to yourself.
Some days we’re more irritable than we normally are. When this happens, can you recognize the factors that are at work in your body? It might be your hunger, fatigue, or hormones that are messing with your feelings. It’s tough to realize in the middle of being pissed that, no, your fellow human beings aren’t more annoying than usual; your body is trying to tell you something. Of course your...
What’s done is done.
You spend hours prepping for situations in which you’ll be evaluated. Be it an interview, a test, an audition, or even a first date, you go in there and you give it your all! Then it’s over, thank God. Please resist the urge to pick apart every moment looking for minute missteps and imagining what the other party could glean from your answers. It’s in the past, what’s done is done. You did...
You can admit your fears.
When you recognize and admit your fears it empowers you to get to the root of them and work around them. You can then decide if it makes sense to spend your time being scared of that particular thing. The decision is yours and yours alone, and your friends will respect your choice. Admitting your fears takes guts and, coincidentally, it’s the first step to recovery. :)
Today remind yourself:...
You’ve got it pretty good.
Got a rough day ahead? Rather than dreading it and trudging through your work, let’s think of a way to not hate life today. Kooky example: Sometimes I like to imagine myself as a pioneer woman with no electricity, no way to contact my distant loved ones, and like 13 kids I have to feed and make clothes for. I think about that for a few seconds and it never fails to make my day look better by...
Your motives are clear.
It’s impressive when you politely cut to the chase. When you’re saying something, that’s what you mean. Layered language is an excellent way to get into people’s heads and manipulate them, but direct instructions are much more mature and will garner you direct praise. You, my friend, are good.
Today remind yourself: My motives are clear.
Good deeds feel good.
Something simple. Something easy. Something you wouldn’t think twice about doing. The little things you do can mean the world to someone else. A good recommendation can lead to a job. A kind word can change the course of a shitty day. You can’t know the full impact of your energy but you can know that you are helpful and that’s a big deal.
Today remind yourself: Good deeds feel good.
“What we’re witnessing is kind of an epic battle between courage and fear.”
– Gregory Berns, author of Iconoclast: A Neuroscientist Reveals How to Think Differently
You speak the truth.
You did it. You acknowledged the elephant in the room. You said what needed to be said and frankly, I’m proud of you! Now what? Well, I suppose we find a way to deal with the elephant. What were the reactions or non-reactions when you spoke the truth? Is this (A) something worth fighting for or did you (B) just want to clear the air? If the answer is A, awesome- keep fighting, I’m behind you 100%....
No second chances with your heart.
You’re a rational human being. You can determine when someone deserves a second chance. But when it’s a second chance with your feelings, it’s tough to stay objective. How many times have we said, “never again,” only to return to someone that’s hurt us in the past because they’re comfortable. I think we need to remember that, odds are, this time...
Just say no.
When I was in kindergarten, my mother gave me the following good advice, “If you don’t learn to say no, you’re going to get pregnant!” This advice goes beyond sex. It’s hard to say “no” because we don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings… but are our feelings in consideration? When someone asks you a yes or no question, they realize that it’s possible they’ll hear “no” and be denied or rejected. ...
You multitask your ass off.
Multitasking is the name of the game. Sometimes it’s fun (exercising while watching TV). Sometimes it’s lame (required reading while returning dreaded phone calls). Devoting energy to more than one job at a time doesn’t necessarily mean you’re halfassing the work. You have to multitask to stay afloat and you’re doing a good job. P.S. The weekend is in sight.
Today remind yourself: I...
You are bighearted.
You are generous. You give your time by bringing novices up to speed. You contribute your considerable brainpower to challenging situations. You give your compassion by being a sounding board for peers and a strong shoulder for friends. You’re a giver! That’s the way to be. Your heart is open and you’re delighted to share.
Today remind yourself: I am bighearted.
You’ve earned some me-time!
Life corrects itself in its own time. Before you start rebuilding, how about you take a mental health day? You’ve earned some me-time. It’s all about pampering yourself until you’re ready to move forward because if you don’t, who will? You’ll pick yourself up and dust yourself off when you’re ready. Until then, you can be found poolside.
Today remind yourself: I’ve earned some me-time!
“Two tears in a bucket, motherfuck it.”
– Lady Chablis, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
You withhold judgment.
Do you ever think, “Oh crap, tomorrow I’m meeting a bunch of new people and I’m sure they’ll all be awful,” like you’re Miss Cleo, turn of the century TV psychic. How can you know if you’ll hate them until you give them a chance? It’s not up to you to predict or decide what those people will be like and it’s not your job to change their personalities once you find out. Wait and see. You’ll give...
Can’t hustle a hustler.
Did you know, at some fast food chains the employees are encouraged to ask customers who don’t specify size, “Would you like a medium or a large?” What the hell happened to small? Oh it’s still there, you just weren’t offered it. It’s infuriating to realize you’ve been had. And to know it’s part of sales training is enough to make you rail against the system. Don’t let The Man get you down. ...
If it feels bad, stop doing it.
*Classic “morning after a rough night” pep talk*
Je deteste le matin. If you’re blue this morning, if you’re feeling guilty, remorseful, or full of self-loathing, my best advice is don’t do anything drastic while bummed. Don’t chop your hair off or text old lovers; definitely don’t ingest any depressant (I’m lookin at you, booze). Please, try to stop beating yourself up. When the worst of the...
You’re a delicate flower, for the love of fuck.
You are a confident person, certainly, but sometimes you need to be handled with care. When acquaintances brusquely demand information about your personal life (ex: When are you ever getting married?), you’re allowed to play coy. When someone corrects you a little too harshly (ex: You forgot to put share plates on that table?! There goes your tip! You really fucked up!), you’re allowed think...
You’re your hero.
The unexpected happens. Why? Because life is not ours to plan, I suppose. Emergencies require outside assistance and you graciously accept help. But on a day-to-day basis, you get by just fine handling your own crises and putting out fires where you see them. When a knight in shining armor isn’t on hand, you’ll rescue yourself, thank you very much.
Today remind yourself: I’m my hero.
You’re a winner and you know it.
Competition can be fun! But pointless, mean spirited competition is just fucking stupid. Of course people want to compete with you because you’ve got it going on, but that doesn’t mean you have to indulge them. Refuse to compete and you’ll drive them crazy and win by default. You and I both know you’re a winner; you don’t have to prove it to anybody else. Today remind yourself: I’m a...
Your name is easy to learn.
When people you don’t have a relationship with- let’s call them strangers- when a stranger speaks to you, he or she should do so in the same way they’d speak to a judge presiding over a sexual harassment case in which he or she is the defendant. They should speak to you with respect. Must you keep reminding strangers that your name is not Sugar Tits? Yes. Remind them hard. By sticking up for...
You’re a hard worker.
Not everything comes easily. Many of the most satisfying accomplishments are toiled over and hard won. You’re a hard worker; so don’t count yourself out of the running just because sometimes you don’t hit the ground that way (running, that is). You’re just as skilled as the best in your field because you’ve got gumption and you will undoubtedly work yourself up to where you need to be.
Today...
You mind your manners.
After years (and years) of working in retail and in restaurants, I’ve come to the conclusion that people are rudest on Sundays. Maybe it’s because it’s the last day of the weekend so they’re in a hurry. Maybe they went to church and are all done being nice for the day. Whatever the reason, I get it, but you don’t have to be a dick. You realize that it’s...
