July 2008
You're somebody's dreamgirl/guy!
Are you pining away over somebody that’s too stupid or unmotivated to ask you out? If they are too blind to return your interest, you can throw yourself at them all you want. They might catch on but, chances are, they’ll still be clueless. The problem is, even if this person does eventually take the hint and make a move, they probably won’t have the slightest idea how to satisfy you. Remember,...
You're delightfully complicated.
It’s a lucky person that gets to spend time figuring you out. There are many facets to your personality that make being with you exciting. Some people aren’t up to the challenge of getting to know a delightfully complicated person. The ones who are up to it will find that you’re a unique individual with a complex history who is worthy of love and friendship.
Today remind yourself: I’m...
You'll figure it out when you get there.
I’m in a rush to leave for the airport (damn do I need an iPhone type device!) so I thought I might share with you some of my packing advice. Pack your dirty clothes because you know you like them. If you forget something, you can probably buy new. If you over-pack, somebody else will probably need it. To sum it up: Throw it all in a bag and we’ll figure it out when we get there. ...
lalalalalalala! You're not listening.
People don’t always think before they speak. They also can give some pretty heinous advice. They have a right to their opinions. And when they are voicing their opinions, you have a right to stick your fingers in your ears, rock back and forth, and quietly hum Jingle Bells. It’s better for your mental health!
Today remind yourself: lalalalalalala! I’m not listening.
You're a nap champ!
I don’t know about you, but I do some of my best work when I’m horizontal. Let’s take a nap. It’s been a rough week across the board. I won’t make you spoon. You’ve earned a lil zzzzZZZZZzzzz. It’s time to recharge, in honor of the Lard’s day (heeeeeeeey Goedeker’s Super Store commercial shout out). Oh jeez I’m delirious. Let’s nap it up.
Today remind yourself: I’m a nap champ!
You go with the flow.
There’s been a change of plans. Instead of throwing a fit and forcing things to go your way, you can accept that shit happens. You’re a flexible person. You can work with a new set of circumstances. All you have to do is keep on trying your best and things will turn out however they’re meant to.
Today remind yourself: I go with the flow.
You're a good friend.
You’re supportive and generous, strong and kind. When your friends need you, you’re happy to be there. When you need them, they gladly return the favor. A friendship can last a lifetime if you roll up your sleeves and work at it. A little occasional maintenance is often all one needs. Make a call, shoot an email, or think a nice thought. That’s what friends do… but you already know that,...
You're not sorry!
Why, in God’s name, should you be sorry? For being assertive? For knowing what you deserve? Fuck that noise. You’ve accomplished things that others haven’t. You’ve used your resources to make considerable progress. When you’re actually bad, then you can make amends, but don’t apologize for the things you should be proud of. Trust me, you’re not sorry; you’re a badass.
Today remind...
Smell the flowers, not the weeds.
Quick story. Yesterday, my friend Lauren was devoting some serious face-in-dirt effort to pulling weeds. She noticed something smelled nice and thought it must be the weeds because they were everywhere. So she picked one up and smelled it. It wasn’t the weed- It was the rosebush she hadn’t noticed she was beside. Metaphor Alert! A person can be too swamped to recognize that there are great...
It's not bad; it's just not yours.
Remember that sour grapes fable? The fox can’t reach the grapes because they’re too high up so he tells himself the grapes are probably nasty anyway. Aesop knows what’s up. Just because something is out of your reach doesn’t mean it’s bad. It just means it isn’t yours. If the grapes are yours, you’ll get them. Otherwise, there’s something else out there for you. Something sweeeeeeet.
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You can start right now.
This minute has the potential to be different from every other minute that’s come before. There’s a difference between putting things off and waiting until the time is right. If you have the opportunity, nay, the privilege to take an action right now that will put you in a slightly better position than you were in a minute ago, fucking take it stat. I bet you’ll be glad you did.
Today remind...
You've got room.
Remember in Dirty Dancing when they go, “This is my dance space. This is your dance space.” I’m here to tell you that your dance space can be as big as you need it to be. Need to be left alone? Take some more space. It’s as much yours as it is anybody else’s. You’re free as a bird, Baby! Spread out.
Today remind yourself: I’ve got room.
You appreciate the simple pleasures.
Gratitude is easy to come by when you’ve got an open mind. Sometimes the littlest things can bring you joy. Bad example: Flossing… love it! It’s cool when simple stuff brings a smile to your face. It shows that you don’t have to win the lotto and get a new pony to be grateful.
Today remind yourself: I appreciate the simple pleasures.
There's more where that came from.
A friend of mine is fond of saying, “every rejection is a protection.” She’s right. If someone can’t see how kick-ass you are, I want them to get the hell away from you immediately. In other instances, sometime things just end, stop, or go away. It sucks when that happens. It takes time, but we’ll get past it. In the dating scene, I think it’s positive to realize that there is more where...
You're improving.
With each new day, you’re getting a little more comfortable in your skin. You’re getting a little better at listening and a little better executing the task at hand. You’re a little further developed than you were yesterday and you’re taking a little better care of yourself. That’s exciting. You constantly grow and learn new tricks. Undoubtedly, you’ll improve again today and it’ll be...
You've got it going on.
Every once in a great while, a person will sit down in front of their compy, intending to write a pep talk or what have you, and accidentally eat an entire pizza. Dude, it happens. (Rather, it just happened.) Whatevs- you’ve got it going ON! The pizza will probably look good on you and if not, who cares, because you’re smart and fun. Talk about a delicious combo!
Today remind yourself: ...
You've got your shit together.
It is a challenge to make good decisions and manage your own daily life. You’re juggling things in a situation where another person might drop the ball. Nobody knows what you need better that you do. You’re in good hands because you’ve got your shit together.
Today remind yourself: I’ve got my shit together.
You're qualified.
After carefully reviewing your resume and double-checking all your references, I’ve come to the conclusion that you are a quality human being and you deserve everything you earn. No head games. No psych-outs. You are totally ready. You’re equal to the task!
Today remind yourself: I’m qualified.
You can wing it.
It’s very rare for things to go exactly to plan. When they don’t, hey it’s cool. You can wing it. You have enough experience in social, personal, and professional settings to just play it by ear. Nothing has to be perfect as long as you give it a shot. You get an A for effort.
Today remind yourself: I can wing it.
You're allowed to get dirty.
Ever have one of those nights? Things just get out of hand and mistakes, as is their wont, are made. Well first things first, you never have to make said mistakes again so there’s no point in dwelling on them. Secondly, yeah it’s important to be a good citizen, but it’s not breaking the law to get a little dirty from time to time. Don’t beat yourself up. Cause a scene! Get some scars! Just...
You're a goddamn treasure.
A total stranger once said to me, “You’re a goddamn treasure and if they don’t see that, screw ‘em.” Thank you, total stranger! Sometimes people who admire you at a distance can see how brightly you shine while those closest to you might need a kick in the pants to remember. Never settle. Today go out and show them how you sparkle because you, loverface, are a goddamn treasure!
Today remind...
You're an eager beaver!
Jeez, what is it, Thursday? Gah. The weekend is right around the corner and (while that may distract those of us that reside in Slackerville, USA population: me) you, light of my life, are unfazed because you, B to the F^2, are an eager beaver. Is there work to be done? You’ll do it! Who has a brilliant solution? Your hand is in the air! Go get ‘em, Champ!
Today remind yourself: I’m...
You can change your mind.
Flip flopper? Unless you’re running for office, them’s not fightin’ words. Not only can you change your stance on positions as you see fit, you can decide to change what you’re thinking about. Bad example: If you’re dwelling on how you were dumped and are feeling unlovable, start telling yourself, “I’m (first name) Fucking (last name)! I’m fucking awesome.” With enough repetition,...
You are surrounded by love.
I think that, when you love yourself the way you really deserve to be loved, people notice. A glowing self-image attracts other people who can love you in a healthy, nurturing way… as opposed to a negative self-image, which attracts douche bags. So keep on treating yourself right and those around you will follow suit. You have the best support system in the world and it starts from within!
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When it needs to be done, you'll do it.
Did you do your laundry? NO?! Jk, I don’t care. I know that when the laundry is dirty enough, you’ll wash it. I think that goes for most things, not just laundry. If you didn’t do it, it probably didn’t need to be done yet. No need to get ahead of yourself. Trust your instincts.
Today remind yourself: When it needs to be done, I’ll do it.
